May 13, 2013 § Leave a comment

Had the very simple, humble, naan for dinner with curry. I loved the beautiful mixture of taste – mint, sweet red curry,and yellow-brown dhal. I’ve always thought, nevertheless, that a Malaysian writer writing about food is bound to make the simplest foods sound like the king’s table – which, in other words, is overblowing it. Instead, its sweet deliciousness in its sheer simplicity should be emphasized – that is what I enjoy about these Malaysian foods, anyway – the ability to enjoy them simply and without guilt.


Listening to Badly Drawn Boy, and wondering where have all my musical tastes gone. 


Playlist: Helpless.

May 13, 2013 § Leave a comment

Knocking on Heaven’s Door – Rolling Stones

This song saw me through many bold and scared days of my life during London days. Because I really did feel like that, some days. Like the sirens should just go off, and I would be be rushed to a place, requiring immediate medical attention. There was no fancy in that notion, merely a deep sense of unease that things were beyond my control; I was utterly helpless and susceptible. The loneliness of the tone of this song didn’t help, either. The original is still the best. There’re many remakes.. including one in the somber tones of Mr Bob Dylan..but no one quite conveys the feeling of ‘lostness’ so well as the Rolling Stones.. 


Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen

This song was another one of my favourites, for sheer vocal power, as well as musical arrangement – it was thoroughly wild and unpredictable, charting the emotional stages a person swims through when desperate.. and there was a desperation in this song that sang to me. The wildness was also endearing..because it referred to this ‘pore boy’s momma in his guilt and repentance that came just a little too late.. 


Old Habits Die Hard – Mick Jagger & Dave Stewart

This song simply sang to me, like water to a duck, because I had so many habits that should die hard, that didn’t die by themselves, yet I was hearty about them. Also, this was sung by old souls of old school rock – Mick Jagger being one of them.. And Mick Jagger’s song struck me like this: rather than cure a bad habit, why not sing about it? Also, he lends a sour twistiness about it – as if slightly sour by the reality of it.. but singing about it because it was real, and undeniable. And then, the melody goes on to playfully suggest that all this is is a story the man’s telling, as one of the many that make up the colourful puzzle of his life.. And he, he man himself, continues singing


Speechless – Lady Gaga

This song, I first heard on an episode of So You Think You Can Dance. The dance was a contemporary one, between a fighting couple in an intimate bedroom scene. It was done well enough to draw praise from the judges about the emotional language successfully conveyed in the song. ‘Speechless’ was actually written by Lady Gaga to her father, whom she felt helpless towards, at one point. Nevertheless, as all art tends to be, the lyrics are romanticized, of course. 



May 1, 2013 § Leave a comment

So I forked out some money 

To pay for the tab, 

And oh, a stranger had made it before me

And oh, I smiled; but he stared.


Here comes the sun, said the song 

It was always alright, ultimately 

And you had lives that you lived, simultaneously 

on different sides of the world


Oh, that strange pale blue feeling 

That you so rarely offered anyone

Was the inkling of your faith in humanity;

A sobered thing, a heavy influence


How could you go and run away, 

On one like me, so forlorn and disconnected 

But I have gotten over that, like a smoked cigarette

To realise the weight of heavier, lasting connections


When all is said and done, life could be like an advert

Fleeting, passing and glorious with ONE message

But I would rather not be, would rather not… 

Live for the market.



April 2, 2013 § Leave a comment

Saw some poster print artworks in Ikea today that I really wanted to buy. They cost 40 bucks, for three prints, which is not too bad…

Art is such an expensive person’s hobby though. I feel I know nothing about it, yet everybody else seems to. I love art, but people have made it into a moneymaking enterprise with many fears and hopes attached. The artists themselves have many complicated tales. Everybody lives, and loves, anyway.

So, I don’t have a conclusion. And I guess we don’t always need one. 

March 6, 2013 § Leave a comment

Bought a picture for two ringgit today. Looking at pictures always makes me inspired. And I had to do something which reminded me of myself. Unboxing the memories. 

The film ‘Goodfellas’ is pretty brutal, but no doubt realistic. Robert De Niro made a good Jimmy Conway. The drugs didn’t look too disgusting. And everything else made sense – the anger, the violence, the motives; the unrest. And everybody was selfish; after gold, but avoiding responsibility. Ultimately, it was about living a high life, selfishly. 

But it was good. A Martin Scorcese.

Suspicious Minds

February 26, 2013 § Leave a comment

Ever since as far back as I can remember, I’ve appreciated creative art. It’s a way of releasing all that energy inside of one person without being aggressive. I learnt to appreciate artistic films that explored themes that were strange, or viewed from a strange angle, or simply seen in a way that was slightly disturbing to someone on the outside. Over time, I learnt that having problems, and admitting that, isn’t the worst thing in life.The worst thing is when you can’t be honest with and to yourself about them.


After a while, you realise that it isn’t important anymore how people see you, the way they want to. They’ll never see you as who you really are until you can be who you really are, in front of them. And if they still don’t choose to see that, it isn’t your problem. And you can only be who you really are when you’ve come to terms with yourself, warts and all, seeing yourself objectively. True, you might have problems, and people might have identified those two things as the same thing: You. But you know you’re not those problems. You just happen to be the one to have to deal with them, since you can’t pass them on.


Art, in a sense, helps us to see the very things other people are supposed to help us see about ourselves, but they don’t want to come close enough, or can’t, or maybe, can’t see, because they simply don’t understand. In the process, others  are helped to see the very things we ourselves need to see. A large screen – a motion picture. 


Suddenly, I’m no longer just someone with problems – I’m someone who needs a different way to see.

February 23, 2013 § Leave a comment

Stuff White People Like

moleskine_pocket_plain_notebookSince all white people consider themselves to be “creative,” they are constantly in need of products and accessories that will allow them to capture their thoughts.  One of the more popular  products in recent years has been the Moleskine notebook.

This particular type of notebook is very expensive and was quite popular with writers and artists in the olden days.  Needless to say, these are two properties that are highly coveted in the white community.   In fact, it’s a good rule of thumb to know that white people like anything that old writers and artists liked:  typewriters, journals, suicide, heroin, and trains are just a few examples.

Much like virtually everything else that white people like, these notebooks are considerably more expensive yet provide no additional functionality over regular notebooks that cost a dollar.  Thankfully, since white people only keep their most original and creative ideas in the Moleskine, many…

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