September 27, 2012 § Leave a comment
Bought the latest Hillsong effort- Cornerstone. Was talking to the girl at the counter, who turned out to be studying ‘vocalising’. In truth, her voice reminds me of my old head of law school. She said she had a few lawyer friends, and they all thought differently.
Anyway, it’s always interesting to have insight into what other people think. Even though she then said, she doesn’t want to generalize all lawyers.
My aim is to look for a creative job. It depends how you define that.
September 25, 2012 § Leave a comment
Tough day. Watching the I-Heart Revolution. I believe in Love!
I’ve found that running away from stress isn’t handling it. But there are moments you still need away from it – to clean yourself up in your mind – your thoughts. The very thoughts that are causing you to feel hunt-down, and worn-out. So I sat down to a salted caramel mocha – which just about tastes like drinking popcorn. Managed to spill some on my shirt, even.
That said, I’m grateful for the other things God throws in, which are like bonuses on a hazy Saturday morning.
Thank You Lord, for the people y0u place in my life. Without them, I could be like stone and not know it. They make me see things I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, otherwise, see, hear or feel. They force me to interact with the outside world when I don’t feel like it, and even when I do feel like it. But more importantly, You’re running our show Lord . And I love how our lives interconnect and interact so that we are really helping each other get to the place you want us to be at.
Thank You Lord, even for the difficult times, when I can’t see much because something’s blocking my vision. I find that trying times have helped me better than easy times.. even though everybody craves easy times..
But Lord, You know better than us what’s good for us..
Hence, I just commit it all into Your hands today..
In Jesus’s Name.
September 20, 2012 § Leave a comment
‘A Beautiful Mind’.
Somehow, that phrase has many meanings. And I understand even better now that I’ve finished watching the film.
Also more or less finished reading a book called ‘Beyond Boundaries’. It’s Christian, and it helps me to understand all I’ve been through in the not-so-distant past. Although godly principles are very helpful to get past relational issues, practical principles are always a great help. Nobody likes to unearth a ton of dirt and earth and see what’s underneath and causing all that mess above the ground. But the truth is, it’s vital to any healthy growth at all that the unhealthy elements are removed from the history. People don’t understand, sometimes, where I came from – where I’d been – except from the snippets that I’d let out, wanting some help with those areas. But it’ll probably take a lifetime to communicate all of these. Perhaps that’s how I know who’ll stick with me – those who stick in spite of what they don’t understand about me. Life is strange, that way, but I’m very much touched by those who put so much effort into it. Especially because, on flashback, I’ve often been very withdrawn because of the tiredness I felt from putting my heart out there so much of the time.
‘A Beautiful Mind’ brings back to mind how difficult it is it may be to live with someone when that person is having problems, which may affect the living arrangement, or even the relations between then. I’m touched by Jennifer Connelly’s role, who stuck by her husband in spite of all she didn’t understand about him, and didn’t know about their future together. It takes a lot to love someone through thick and thin, and especially, through sickness and through health. At some point, something’s gotta give, so you better know with all your depths what you’re really basing it on.
And it touched me that this man Nash, who saw the world differently through his genius in mathematics, ultimately understood (at least in the film portrayal) that no matter how you saw the world, it was ultimately the same for everyone – you had to have love to get on in it.
I believe he was committed to mathematics, committed to making his name in the world, committed to his family; but ultimately he also became committed to giving back to society, and to life-giving relationship.
September 17, 2012 § Leave a comment
Writing my long call speech. A month ago, long call seemed like ages away. But writing this speech actually makes me feel a little emotional, for all the reasons that I have to thank people for.
It’s been such a long and arduous journey, but in it, I’ve been met at every bend by someone who goes: Don’t give up! And I’ve nearly always wanted to scowl at them.
But the truth is, they’re the ones that forced me to stick by simply because tthey expected that from me.
I filed my final affidavit of service last week, and now, as the days toward long call creep by, I’m wondering if, by the time it reaches to my turn, I’d have peace of mind, or a simple settlement in my heart. After all, I have to remind myself: My outward circumstances shouldn’t confirm the inner condition of my heart and walk with Jesus. It should be the other way round.
But I thank God every day for His grace and mercy toward me.
September 4, 2012 § Leave a comment
Reading my old writings is a little tiring, although amazing.
All those thoughts and feelings… did I really live them?
Living, I’ve discovered since, is much more than thinking, feeling; watching and writing.
Some things are a little clearer now, by definition.